:’D


I mean this in more than one sense of the phrase. People who are not associated with music will hardly ever notice the bass playing and when told by a bassist that he is a bassist they will tilt their head to one side and look genuinely stupified. After asking what the bass is and seeing the actual instrument, they will more often than not come to some conclusion along the lines of „oh, it’s a guitar“. Any self-respecting bassist’s blood will go up at least 10 degrees at this degrading and inconsiderate statement of ignorance and either, try to explain further the importance of the bass or just get up and walk off to mull about taking up drums in the corner. The bassist’s life is a depressing one, the number of jokes floating around regarding bassists make us an insecure and unpopular bunch of alcoholics. Drummers for instance, who, if ever tried to sit an IQ test did not find the building, generally act like morons, yelling things like „fuck me in the brain!“ at the top of their lungs still get more chicks than bassists after concerts.

Oh naturally after a long series of taking the piss out of some bassists, when asked to answer very seriously and still then, even after a few more jokes, will a person admit than a bassist has an important role in the band, namely to tie the drums, chords and vocals together. Without the bassist a band would be as screwed up as the source code to Windows, he is like the C++class that holds everything together. And due to people’s inability to realize this, the bassist is treated like a maggot, small and insignificant, useless and with nothing to offer. No one congratulates the bassist after a concert, he doesn’t have the car, or the hair and this is rigidly reflected onto his social life.

The lack of acknowledgement towards the bassist makes him a broken television set permanently on mute to his friends. When the bassist, debating with his group of friends on what to do for the evening, offers an idea, he is shun, ignored and habitually told to shut up. He only speaks when spoken to and that is typically only when someone wants something from him, for instance a ride home. He is never telephoned, and has to beg to be allowed to tag along with his friends. If the bassist is not still a virgin, he has not been with many and is definitely not screwing groupies by the dozen.

Take the conventional gig for instance, after the show is over the singer and lead guitarist will sit down at the bar to impress chicks because they can get them free drinks for being in the band. As the bassist sits down, his two colleagues will act as if they’ve never seen him before, and he will certainly not be served any free drinks for being in the band. Alas, unfortunately there will be no stories of a bassist’s sexual endeavors the next morning regarding two 18-year old college girls. There will be no happiness or fulfillment, there will only be pathetic-ness. A bassist is doomed to lead a dark, lonely life wallowing in self-pity and passiveness.

http://everything2.com/title/No+one+ever+listens+to+the+bassist

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Über onechordbassist

disrespect my authority
Dieser Beitrag wurde unter Falaks., In eigener Sache, lol, Musik, Nerdiger Sheisz, trololololol veröffentlicht. Setze ein Lesezeichen auf den Permalink.

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